A poem for us. 

Today we have a poetic piece written anonymously. Remember you can find hope and support at Nacoa. If you have something to say as the child of an alcoholic then get in touch.

Sometimes the hardest thing to accept is the truth; you feel it in your heart first before it engulfs your whole body. That ache, that hurt, that pain. Nothing compares. So we block it out, we fill our lives with false happiness, endless routines and social engagement when all the while we still feel numb. Numb to happiness, just incase, numb to love, just incase and most of all numb to sadness. Because sadness is the truth now. The only truth.
Sadness is the only thing I’m sure of, no other feelings are certain within me. I’m not certain on happiness, on excitement or guilt. But the sadness remains at the back of my mind like a ticking bomb waiting to go off. To choose it’s moment when I cannot take anymore again. When the tears start to fall and there’s nothing you can do.
See, it’s the memories of the past that haunt us the most.

The smell of the alcohol, the sounds of the bottles, the thumps and the smashes. It’s the feel of the stickiness on your hands or the wetness underneath your feet.

The look on their faces when you know they’re drunk, that look embedded in your brain.
When you close your eyes at night, it’s not the shouting that keeps you awake now, its the fear. The fear that the memories will never disappear, always remain and resurface when you feel most insecure. But some of us keep that glimmer of hope, that one day it will be okay. That we will be okay.

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Al says:

    Thank you for sharing, sadness and fear are very real feelings for us. I guess everyone will have individual experiences but there are some common themes too. For me there is also fear and insecurity, but yes we will be ok with peace , support and understanding 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. E says:

    Really beautiful piece.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Kate says:

    That’s really beautiful, composed and thought provoking. With love , care and understanding the fear gradually diminishes X

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.