I grew up in a home (if you would even call it that) where both parents where alcoholics. When I look back on it now, it seems like a never-ending day of violence, trauma and neglect. I somehow had an instinctual sense, I think from the day I was born that this was all wrong. I was the most defiant child out of all my siblings which left me with excessive beatings as well as emotional violence. From an early age I would pass out from harsh punishments and also wet the bed for year and years. It has left me with a life of depression and anxiety as well as alcohol and drug abuse. I had a serious problem with authority which led to all kinds of problems for myself. One parent is dead now while the other is still in oblivion, and who I do not talk to.
I am doing well now myself. I have gone back to college to study social science. I have given up drugs and alcohol. Life is good. I am trying to leave it all behind in every way, shape and form. I have siblings though which I constantly worry about and are probably my biggest worry. We all experience family life in different ways. It has affected us all differently. I am now in long-term counselling for people who have experienced violence as I feel intense anger at times myself. I am learning to focus on myself and to let go of what I cannot change. I am doing everything I can to heal my life. I have achieved so much before thirty which I will be forever grateful for, some were not so lucky.
If I can give any bit of advice to anyone then it’s, always believe that you deserve better and make use of every opportunity as it is all learning. Learn from every experience weather good or bad.
This guest post was written by Olivia. If you relate to anything Olivia has said in this amazing post, then NACOA are here to help, and can offer life saving love and compassion for anyone affected by their parents drinking.
And if you feel like you have a story you want to tell, you can find out how, here.